Dwayne Johnson AKA The Rock
Birthday: May 2, 1972
Nationality: American (California)
Occupation: WWE Wrestler and Actor
Best Known For: His wrestling persona, The Rock; Joe Kingman (The Gameplan); Jack Bruno (The Race to Witch Mountain); Derek Thompson/ The Toothfairy (Tooth Fairy)
Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is a junk for so many reasons.
The first is the most obvious. He has spent the majority of his career as a WWE ‘pro’ wrestler. Which is probably one of the single most unattractive professions a man could have. Wearing a Speedo, greasing yourself up and slipping around on top of another, equally-as-ugly man is not sexy at all. Plus, we all know that crap is fake. WWE wrestlers are pretty much steroid addicts who take their increased rage out on each other through meaningless, lame threats.
After his success on the WWE circuit, The Rock decided to try acting. Unfortunately he can’t act. Which actually explains why he’s gone from The Rock to The Tooth Fairy. Only children would buy that crap. The rest of us just see an over-greased, over-muscled steroid bottle with no acting skills.
OK, to be fair he’s never been proven to have taken steroids. But, c’mon. We all can easily figure out what happens in the backrooms of those WWE stages. They don’t really have to be physically fit, they just have to look the part. And ‘roids are their quickest route.
Last, but certainly not least, The Rock just is not attractive. He’s got a strangely shaped head and those gross muscles ontop of his shoulders that make him look like he’s got no neck. Even that suit couldn’t improve him. Plus, he’s always doing that stupid one eyebrow raise that plagued anyone who lived through the 1990′s. EVERY guy wanted to do that. And thought we all wanted to see him do it. It’s just stupid and annoying.
So, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, congrats. You’ve officially been JUNK’d. Don’t bother trying to tell us about how you’re gonna lay the smack down on us or whatever, we can see through that crap and we are not amused.