Michael Phelps
Birthday: June 30, 1985
Nationality: American
Occupation: Athlete (Swimmer)
Best Known For: Olympic Swimmer, won most gold medals of any Olympic athlete (14)
Michael Phelps is our latest JUNK for so many reasons. The list is actually pretty extensive. So we’re just going to focus on some basics.
First of all, Michael Phelps is ugly. Despite being in very good shape, he is, sadly, a butter face. The big ears- caveman brow- egg head- constant look of vacancy thing just isn’t working for us. Even in a suit, he cannot be helped. And suits can makes the worst of men shine.
Secondly, Michael Phelps is (or he seems to be) an idiot. The Rosetta Stone and Subway commercials he stars in proves this to us. He talks like he has been beat with a baseball bat just beforehand (which may actually explain his poor looks).
On top of being slightly moronic, Michael Phelps is also a reputed jerk. Whilst attending the University of Michigan, he often wore his gold medals out to parties and bars, in an attempt to pick up chicks. Very lame, Phelps, very lame.
The stuffing in this Speedo? Michael Phelps was caught smoking marijuana. Definitely not attractive. What girl wants a munchie-head former athlete? The combo, we predict, will make one plump, pompous Phelps when the Olympic pools dry up for him.
Michael Phelps, you are one huge JUNK.
HUNK or JUNK? 